Sex & Relationships

Is Oral Sex Beta? Why Going Down Is Actually Alpha

Stirling Cooper

Is Oral Sex “Beta”?

A surprising number of guys are still asking this question:
“Is eating her out beta?”

Let’s settle it—once and for all.

My name is Sterling Cooper, award-winning adult film star and former high-class companion. I help men like you become better lovers, partners, and confident men in bed.

If you’ve ever worried that pleasing a woman orally makes you submissive or less masculine, you’re asking the wrong question—and I’m going to explain why.

The Real Question Isn’t “Beta or Alpha”—It’s Your Frame

Too many guys think alpha vs. beta depends on actions.

“If I buy her flowers, am I beta?”
“If I go down on her, is that weak?”

Here’s the truth: It’s not about what you do—it’s about how you do it.

It’s your frame that matters. I could go down on a woman and it’s Alpha. Another guy might do it nervously, hoping to earn love or approval—and it’s Beta. Same action. Totally different energy.

Do You Enjoy It? That’s the Only Real Test

Ask yourself: Do you genuinely enjoy going down on a woman?

If the answer is yes: do it.
If the answer is no: don’t.

That’s it. There’s no cosmic scoreboard for manhood keeping tally. Stop overanalyzing it.

I personally love doing it—and most high-level men I know in the adult industry do too. It’s pleasurable, powerful, and deeply connecting. Plus, there’s a major biological benefit: pheromones + arousal = instant hardness.

Power and Control—Not Submission

You know what’s really alpha?

Making a woman tremble using only your tongue.
Knowing you can make her climax without even undressing.
Watching her fall apart while you stay completely in control.

That’s power. That’s dominance. And yes—it’s an ego trip.

It’s not about “hoping she likes it” or trying to “earn” anything. It’s about enjoying it for yourself just as much as she is.

What Guys Who Say It’s Beta Are Really Saying

Whenever a guy says, “Oral is beta”, I know two things about him immediately:

He doesn’t enjoy giving oral.
He’s probably bad at it.

Let’s be real—you can’t be great at something you secretly resent doing. Women can feel that energy. And it’s not sexy.

Dominant vs. Submissive Positions

You can even turn the physical position into a power move:

Knees up, legs pinned back? You’re in charge.
Her riding your face? Still dominant—if you’re enjoying it and she knows it.

It’s never about “owing” her anything. It’s about what you’re bringing into that moment—your confidence, control, and desire.

Think About It: Do You Judge Her for Oral?

Ever had your mind blown by a woman who loved giving head? You didn’t lose respect for her—you probably wanted to keep her around.

It’s the same dynamic. If you’re genuinely turned on while doing it, she’ll feel that energy. It builds connection and magnetism. That’s powerful.

Even Male Stars Use Oral to Get in the Zone

Plenty of top adult performers (yes, the most Alpha guys in the game) use oral sex to get aroused before scenes. It’s how they build arousal, connect with their partner, and get into a dominant sexual headspace.

So, if legends like Rocco Siffredi and Manuel Ferrara do it… are you really going to argue it’s weak?

But Don’t Be a One-Trick Pony

That said—oral shouldn’t be your only move.

If the only way you can make her orgasm is by eating her out, then yeah… it’s time to improve other areas: penetration, dirty talk, energy, rhythm.

You should be able to give her an orgasm with your hands, your words, your mouth, and your d*.** That’s the kind of well-rounded skill set that makes women obsessed with you.